Monday, September 3, 2007

NO critical comments for 24 hrs.

Ok so my hubby and I are listening to Dr John Lunds talks on cd. They are really fun to listen to. Being this is my 3rd marriage, I am continually striving to strengthen our relationship. Now really we have a fantastic marriage. I fully intend to keep it that way. So the cd's are titled "For All Eternity" A four-talk set to Strengthen your Marriage. I highly recommend them to everyone. Dr Lund is so funny. And the suggestions that he talks about are really great.
He talks about owning your words. For example, for one week do not go off of body language, facial expressions, or tone of voice. Only go by what is said. If I had a crappy day, and Mark comes in and asks me how I am, and I say fine. Then Im fine. Even if my eyes are red from crying etc etc. I dont get to expect him to pry into why Ive been crying. He doesnt have to ask " are you sure you are ok?" I get to own my answer.
The one that we are going to work on now is no critical or negative comments for 24 hrs. This means no sarcasm, nothing. I cant drive and curse out the person ahead of me, I cant complain about how fat I feel being pregnant. I cannot put down anyone, including myself, for 24 hrs. Every time I do I have to start my 24 hrs over again. Now this also means non verbal. I cant give a dirty look and roll my eyes at my kids etc. If you think it but dont act on it, that is ok. As long as it is pushed out of your head.
He makes a comment about those who arent willing to try this. Or those that say " oh I could do that I just dont want to etc" how they are in the 2 minute club. I am determined not to be in that club. I am up for the challenge!
The hardest for me will be sarcasm. I was raised with sarcasm. I still feel there is a fine line to where it can be too much, but I do use it alot through out my day.
This whole thing is also something you can only rate yourself. No checking up on your partner. The honor code is in play.
So do you think you could do this? He said it took his wife 3 days. It took him 3 weeks! LOL. The car was the point that got him. I think that will the hardest part for me as well.
When I actually accomplish this I will let everyone know. Ive already had to start over twice! LOL. We started this last night at 10 pm. Sad I know! But I will do this! Oops I put myself down. Ok so I get to start over again. This will be a good thing for me!! Try this with me! See what you can accomplish.
Have a great day!!

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