One Month Old

WOW!! Time flies! Brennan is already a month old! Yes he is still little but I can see such a difference already. I wish there was a magic button to put babies on hold. It is so sad how fast time goes by. I am torn by my feelings about having him get older. I am excited to see what he will look like. I love it when they start to respond to being talked to and smiled at. I especially love to hear the baby chatter. Such sweet little sounds. It always seems they have such an amazing story to tell. Perhaps its why they cant talk for a few years. I like to believe the veil is very thin for them when they first arrive here. After all they are perfect. It is also fun to see their personality come out more and more. Also that thing called sleep isnt so fleeting. However, as they grow they are not as easy to carry around. I always miss holding them when they are all tucked into themselves. Outside influences start to emerge. Some not so great... Like saying "no" etc. Oh yes and then the potty training ugh!!! Well atleast until its learned. Then that is a positive. I love snuggling with my babies. I love how helpless they are. It makes me feel so important. Funny I know. I love the fact that they are so reliant upon me, especially when it comes to feeding them. It is the most amazing time. Especially when they just gaze up at me.

Ok you get the point I know. I am not sure how I will ever fill "done". It is the most wonderful gift in the world to be able to carry these sweet little spirits, bring them into the world (especially when you have an amazing husband) It just never gets old. Even after 4 kids. Not having any more children also means a new phase in life! Yikes Im really not sure Im ready for that. How can you ever know if you are totally done. Or I should say if God agrees with you that you are done? What if one partner says without a doubt you are done but the other just cant say that? So many feelings and emotions. Thankfully I still get to enjoy my sweet little one for a little while before I really have to make a decision!! And I do enjoy 99% of my time with him. That sleep thing is missed but will happen soon enough!!